SONG WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY SEVIN OF HOGMOB MINISTRIES
Sometimes I wonder,
What more do I gotta do,
I’ve been pouring my heart out for years,
This is my greatest fear,
Some say I’m sick, coz of what my dreams depict in the midst of death,
I hear the screams from hollow tips on the pistol’s breath,
banana clips in the triple vest, brethren no lovin’ in the ghetto,
it’s governed by zips and the crystal meth,
niggaz will put one in your brain just to get respect an’
please believe that when you slain is when you gettin’ left
I’ve seen raindrops drippin’ from dead carcasses,
and stray shots spittin’ ain’ trippin’ off who the target is,
we ain’ grew up like the partridges,
I watched my partners sniff lines of coke off the shine of nine cartridges,
the only good days are the ones that liquor’s out there,
I take a sip for my niggaz and pray that they get through the Gates,
I became popular from them weak niggaz poppin’ at me,
they think that I was choppin’ a key,
but no, I’m just humpin’ CDs,
I watched Dre get a deal then I feel,
“Nigga I’m just as nice”,
I pray I get a meal before I’m killed,
Nigga this is life
They said one day would come, but it’s been so long,
[Verse 2: still grindin’ nigga]
so many tears to cry, and yet just one song,
[somebody help me]
[Verse 2: from the underground]
and if I die today, would they even care?
if I left this place without a trace that I was here
all I got is my heat an’ my art, my heart, my balls dawg an’ my religion,
reality’s depressin’, got me thinkin’ ’bout my odds of livin’,
coz I see that they slim to none,
nicotine in my lungs,
mixing gin with rum,
until I vomit up lyrics to wet portraits,
that can captivate caskets and resurrect corpses,
then maybe I can see my brother again,
I’m tryna be righteous but that will only let me revel in sin,
[Lord I need you, I need you yeah]
I serve God but the evil one is governin’ them,
what’s the use of keepin’ it raw if they in love with the trade?
they don’t feel me, if I catch these years from another case,
which one o’ y’all gon’ wipe the tears from my mother’s face?
[who’s gonna do it?]
so quite boxin’ to south dawg, let it shine!
respect the grind, maybe you made it,
but the rest is done,
this is for my niggaz that tried even though they paid the cost,
and every rapper that died,
long before they met the Source.
I spit off full dues and the produce capture this song,
hopefully the vocals will last after I’m gone,
will my image diminish before I’m finished at the end of my race
and they takin’ the bullets out of the ends an’ into my face?
when you cry, because you neglected this young man
an equal chance, an opportunity when you coulda seen me advance,
even as I’m writin’ I’m enlightened that the hour’s past,
more sand just drained from my hourglass,
I pray daily they aid me when I’m seekin’ a deal,
and I’m keepin’ it real when I’m saying I sleep with my steel,
I write for hours preparing to perfect the technique in my skill,
do I got to put heat in my grill to show you what deeply I feel?
failure’s a sea, and I’m stuck in it’s wake drowning,
with the thought I won’t make it,
for God’s sake, it’s my eighth album!
Father forgive me, I’m tryna fulfill purpose,
I’ma feel worthless until my skill surface.