[Hook 2x: Sevdaliza]
It’s true
In this life
I’ve never been the one
In your eyes
I’ve never been the truth
All you saw
Was a broken mirror

[Verse 1: Bizzle]
I know what it feel like to get hit real nice
With a rock in the side of ya noggin cuz you don’t feel right
To the crowd when you rockin
They holler “you ain’t no real Christ follower
How could you be you don’t look like you is right”
“And you said nigga so you ain’t saved
You just wanted attention so you dissed Jay
You just wanted dimensions you just hate
Cuz you ain’t paid
Six years gone by and guess who ain’t changed”
Still reppin’ for the hood like I’m supposed to do
I ain’t never pushed violence and dope to you
Never called young black queens out they name
And you wonder why they want Biz out they game
Psh that’s fine I’ll be the bad guy and the world to see
Who I shouldn’t be lookin at fly
These rappers attack God
These so called pastahz sabatoging our work
And giving the Church a black eye
But He’s still king and He’s still God
And we still man so we still flawed
He don’t stop being a rock because we stepped off
And He is no less God just cuz we rep wrong
I don’t look like Christ yet but that’s what I aim for
They sayin’ it’s impossible but why should I aim low
Made in the image of God
‘Til Eve and the snake spoke
Soon as we turned away the mirror became broke
Fix us

[Hook 2x: Sevdaliza]
It’s true
In this life
I’ve never been the one
In your eyes
I’ve never been the truth
All you saw
Was a broken mirror

[Verse 2: Sevin]
Let’s go
Since the moment He birthed me
It’s certainly hurt me and irked me
How the jerks in these churchy circles
Will curse me from the turf B
It should be clear how I’m dirty
I’m unworthy and I’m only here by His mercy
Firstly I’d rather stay where they’ll murk me
And squirt me in the melon
Instead of tellin me it’s clear when it’s murky
They betrayin us
Slayin us for takin it personally
Ain’t gone play it how He played it why you wearin His jersey?
I was purchased
Layin in the bed of the serpent
I don’t deserve this
Bruh I never said I was perfect
But I’m purposed
He planted a seed knee deep in me
The leaf is startin’ to break through the surface
The father’s defending me
Ain’t you supposed to be befriending me
They’ll treat me like a enemy
As soon as I walk into these churches
In sixteen years I have observed this
The gospel music industry is not truly ministry
It’s a circus bruh
Yeah I was a killer
Yeah I was a thug
And yeah I was a dealer hell yeah I was a blood
And yeah I was a addict
Yeah I came to church with a vest and a semi-automatic
I was hooked on dope
And I was hooked on sex
And I was hooked on money and I was hooked on gin
Chained down to a spell I was hooked on sin
Christ saved me from hell now I’m hooked on Him

[Hook 2x: Sevdaliza]
It’s true
In this life
I’ve never been the one
In your eyes
I’ve never been the truth
All you saw
Was a broken mirror





Can I let my heart cry out?
Won’t let this flame die out

[Verse 1: Sevin]
They really ain’t got no choice
I’m gonna make ‘em feel my heart the way that I empty mine
But an empty heart just leaves an empty mind, so send a sign
Coulda sparked, but the hood has darkened my attempts to shine
I bear the world with an injured spine, my strength declined
Cause I need less of me and more of You
You are infinite, You’re the interest of my mortal view
You’re in control, and You implement my morals too
And You command that I recognize the only Lord is You
But is that too much to ask for being God Supreme
Two choices, casket full of cash, or a Sovereign King?
We are such prideful beings, we hit the stage, the crowd’ll scream
But they won’t cheer for the One that engineered everything their eyes have seen?
How we get so far from light?
You’re the face of truth, so they refute the martyred Christ?
I have realized that in Him is where real lies
If God so loved the world, no wonder Jesus cried

Yeah, You’re the realest one that I know
Feel free to take my life, Lord, I just feel it’s something I owe
Yeah, You’re the only one that I serve
And I swear I’ll preach Your Word until they throw me under my curve
Yeah, you’re the realest One that I know
Feel free to take my life, Lord, I just feel it’s something I owe
Yeah, you’re the only one that I serve
And I swear I’ll preach Your Word until they throw me under my curve

[Verse 2: Sevin]
Never did it for the fetty, nah, never did it for the fame
Never forsaken the fellowship with a brother and nothin realer than when we comin together in his name
Kill it
If it ain’t real, I don’t feel it – Novocaine
They say that my name shoulda been sport, and I musta been born on the court in gym shorts because i got so much game
But you know the name
Yeshua, the Blessed Christ
Line of Judah, Sovereign Ruler, nigga Hallelujah, he the Breath of Life!
The S-O-N of Man, came and He died for the remission of sins
So Mary don’t cry, Mary don’t cry
In the twinkle of an eye we gonna be risen again
So keep your eyes just peeled to the sky, no fear
If we die we gon meet up in the end
Submerged in that living water, I be swimming harder than a cheetah with a fin (ah ah ah)
Yo, God gave me the keys to the door
Boy, when I testifying in the west I slide like skis in the snow


[Verse 3: Eric C. Tha Tempa Tantrum]
And at my worst I’m gonna praise Jehovah
Looking up at the face of vultures
They be perched on the cross that I drag cause it breaks my shoulder blades
The pain brings me closer to you
Every time I take a hold of You, Father, You take me over
They wanna kill me cause I tell ‘em You really make it rain
We live in similar days to Noah
But, now I be kicking it with my Father somewhere over the rainbow whenever You say it’s over
You think You’re feelin me, shoulda got rid of me, but Lord You’re getting me feeling You are The Way deep in the pit of me and now I’m in love with Your Holy Spirit that You let live in me
You waiting for the day when You finally appear to me
I’m in the front row waiting for the curtain to open
And when the bands all playing tell em “send up the horn section” cause I’m ready for that trumpet to blow!
And when You stand on stage for the second time I’ma go crazy
Wanna give it your stance fo sho
He let the body open up for the Father to get the crowd hyped
And now He ready to headline the show
Somebody let ‘em know the Champ is here
The devil prolly be reliving him on the cross when Christ return
Jump in the box at the top of the rope
1,2,3, pin, death defeated, it was a massacre
And He’s still the Champion of the World, baby (He’s the greatest One that I know)
Can’t nobody compare too, and illuminati gonna be bowed down to His throne
You the only One that I fear, and I thank you for the blood, that be dripping off of the cross, cause He took the place of my tears




Uh huh

Sometimes I wonder,

What more do I gotta do,

I’ve been pouring my heart out for years,

You know?

This is my greatest fear,

Yeah, yeah

Some say I’m sick, coz of what my dreams depict in the midst of death,

I hear the screams from hollow tips on the pistol’s breath,

banana clips in the triple vest, brethren no lovin’ in the ghetto,

it’s governed by zips and the crystal meth,

niggaz will put one in your brain just to get respect an’

please believe that when you slain is when you gettin’ left

I’ve seen raindrops drippin’ from dead carcasses,

and stray shots spittin’ ain’ trippin’ off who the target is,

we ain’ grew up like the partridges,

I watched my partners sniff lines of coke off the shine of nine cartridges,

the only good days are the ones that liquor’s out there,

I take a sip for my niggaz and pray that they get through the Gates,

I became popular from them weak niggaz poppin’ at me,

they think that I was choppin’ a key,

but no, I’m just humpin’ CDs,

I watched Dre get a deal then I feel,

“Nigga I’m just as nice”,

I pray I get a meal before I’m killed,

Nigga this is life


They said one day would come, but it’s been so long,

[Verse 2: still grindin’ nigga]

so many tears to cry, and yet just one song,

[somebody help me]

[Verse 2: from the underground]

and if I die today, would they even care?

if I left this place without a trace that I was here

(Verse 2)


all I got is my heat an’ my art, my heart, my balls dawg an’ my religion,

reality’s depressin’, got me thinkin’ ’bout my odds of livin’,

coz I see that they slim to none,

nicotine in my lungs,

mixing gin with rum,

until I vomit up lyrics to wet portraits,

that can captivate caskets and resurrect corpses,

then maybe I can see my brother again,

I’m tryna be righteous but that will only let me revel in sin,

[Lord I need you, I need you yeah]

I serve God but the evil one is governin’ them,

what’s the use of keepin’ it raw if they in love with the trade?

they don’t feel me, if I catch these years from another case,

which one o’ y’all gon’ wipe the tears from my mother’s face?

[who’s gonna do it?]

so quite boxin’ to south dawg, let it shine!

respect the grind, maybe you made it,

but the rest is done,

this is for my niggaz that tried even though they paid the cost,

and every rapper that died,

long before they met the Source.


I spit off full dues and the produce capture this song,

hopefully the vocals will last after I’m gone,

will my image diminish before I’m finished at the end of my race

and they takin’ the bullets out of the ends an’ into my face?

when you cry, because you neglected this young man

an equal chance, an opportunity when you coulda seen me advance,

even as I’m writin’ I’m enlightened that the hour’s past,

damn, man

more sand just drained from my hourglass,

I pray daily they aid me when I’m seekin’ a deal,

and I’m keepin’ it real when I’m saying I sleep with my steel,

I write for hours preparing to perfect the technique in my skill,

do I got to put heat in my grill to show you what deeply I feel?

failure’s a sea, and I’m stuck in it’s wake drowning,

with the thought I won’t make it,

for God’s sake, it’s my eighth album!

Father forgive me, I’m tryna fulfill purpose,

I’ma feel worthless until my skill surface.




“Power and the money, money and the power
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Everybody’s running, but half of them ain’t looking
What’s going on in the kitchen, but I don’t know what’s cooking
They say I’ve got to learn but nobody’s here to teach me
If they can’t understand it, how can they reach me
I guess they can’t
I guess they won’t
I guess they front
That’s why I know my life is out of luck fool”

-Coolio ‘Gansters’ Paradise’

“All I got is my heat and my art, my heart, my balls dawg and my religion,

reality’s stressing, got me thinking about my odds of living, coz I can see that it’s slim to none

Nicotine in my lungs, mixing gin and rum,

Until I vomit up lyrics to wet portraits that can captivate caskets and resurrect corpses,

then maybe I can see my brother again,

I’m tryna be righteous but that’ll only let me rebel in sin”

-Sevin ‘Greatest Fear’


The songs many of us 90’s kids grew up listening too are by far among the best ever. Not only do I feel that I should point this out but I should also use it as a background for this particular post today. As you can guess, I am a proud 90s baby. Those of you born in the 90s might relate with me on this one as I feel that we are a special breed judging by the ripples being made by our peers in various spheres of life across the globe.

What’s amazing about this is the fact that not many artists who were in the prime of their youth got to live quite as well. Some examples include 2-Pac, Aaliyah, Biggie…just to name a few. Their deaths stunned the world as it made the world see what potential in young and upcoming artistes could do to a whole generation. As someone once said, “he who can understand music, can understand a generation”. That’s the point being made here.

Coolio got it right as I pointed out above; that because society didn’t care, those living in already-terrible situations, truly didn’t have a way out of their misery due to societal neglect. I say society because I tend to agree with Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s quip, “the church is neither the master nor the slave of the state, but rather its conscience”. This matter is greatly seen in how little influence the church has had since those who want out never got it. It is in fact so great that Tupac/2 Pac once said “I wonder if heaven has a ghetto”.

How far away can the church truly be from giving hope? This is indeed disturbing. I’m pretty sure that I am not the only one who’s noticed this, many of you have: Whether you have beenlet down by the church/christianity, or are new to the faith…or even a long-time believer, you may agree with me here. Especially when I take Gandhi’s side and say, “I love the Jesus that I read about in the Bible, but I am no big fan of his followers today”.

How sad is it, that someone writing Gospel rap during this period of the 90s could say that all he could do is wait till his pain rolled over before he could ever speak life to others [i.e Sevin]. In as much as many would judge him, I feel that he still had a point. Behind the scenes, many of the celebrities struggled with so many things, be it sex, drugs or alcohol. These people were ‘alive’ on stage but dying on the inside.

What’s worse is that, in my opinion, we have elevated superficiality over reality that we are slowly but surely forgetting what we are. We are human. We are not perfect, but not many are standing up to show us otherwise; we are weak and poor, but how many are vocal enough to show us that there is more to who we are than what we are being fed on by the media? These are but some of my concerns for the rest of the human race. These concerns are getting worse as the church continues to remain silent.

Very soon, if we as a people in this world continue this way, nothing but gloom awaits us. We will continue to kill ourselves, commit attrocities in the name of ideologies/philosophies, we will build walls around ourselves because we cannot love someone from another ethnicity, we will drown in drugs, sex, alcohol…and worst of all superficiality.

I know I have talked a lot about the 90s as a child of the 90s but the 2000s are a period of greater concern; when a young man’s ambition is to have “broads, a black x6 among other things” not others welfare, i.e the betterment of the world, we are in trouble. The 2000s are the realization of Coolio’s concern, that goes something like this, “They say I’ve got to learn but nobody’s here to teach me, if they can’t understand it, how can they reach me, I guess they can’t, I guess they won’t, I guess they front, that’s why I know my life is out of luck fool”.

In this the church truly has no excuse, called to imitate Christ; it truly is a difficult calling, but with far reaching results. I am reminded of one story of St Francis of Assisi who stopped an invasion through sacrificing himself to show Christ’s love to an ambitious general. Just as I am reminded that enmity has become ‘leverage’ for selfish political ambition. What irony exists, but a church that speaks will be able to converse with the theologians on the streets who are seeking hope.

Will the church listen?




Oh yes
Lord I surrender
Though it hurts sometimes
Oh yes I surrender

[Verse 1: Sevin]
My poppa was a preacher but his poppa was absentee
He did the best he could
To keep his son from living fast and free
Religious rules and Christian schools
The other children laughed at me
Plus we never had much green so I never did dress fashionably
Everybody wore the same ol’ smile
But it was just a mask to me
I saw through the hypocrisy
When the pastor made a pass at me
That basterd had a class of us
He kept asking us to do nasty things
To the point I have the baddest dreams of…
Savage things attacking me
We moved away but you could say
The tragedy had a lasting reach
Blocked out any memory
Still can’t stand to hear no pastor preach
By now I’m about eleven
And I’ve learned life comes with hazards B
Sometimes I just break out in tears
A dark cloud seems to pass through me
My best friend was my blood brother
And at thirteen he died tragically
And after he passed in that car crash
I wished that that was me
I had a heart but life ripped that apart and gave me apathy
I felt God did not look after me
All I have for Him is blasphemy

[Chorus: Sevin]
The rain falls on us all
The good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
One day well it’s gone make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and never walk by sight no
I don’t understand Your ways
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

[Verse 2: Sevin]
Aye I went from good kid to a hood kid
Seemed like the change came overnight
Life cloaked him with a heart that’s frozen
Rollin’ on a stolen bike
Smoking like a chimney
With a semi sitting in that holster tight
And every other word was blood
No love for who we ‘posed to fight
Went from praying prayers like
“Lord I love You I’ll keep you close, aight?”
To “I don’t know if You even there
Just help me not get smoked tonight”
So enticed by the thought of being loved
I’d pay the coldest price
I done sat inside a cell for niggas
Who has never even thrown the kite
Rebellin’ against the God I hate
I blamed Him for my loaded life
What made it worse I played with curses
Even though I know what’s right
I used to ask church folk why life’s so hard
But I got no advice
Or they’d just relay a bunch of clichés that don’t suffice
Depressed and half psychotic
Narcotics are my chosen vice
Consumed with idols
Suicidal by eighteen I tried more than twice
Married to this selfish pride
I seen the devil throw the rice
And every day I dwell inside this hell he tells me roll the dice

[Chorus: Sevin]
I said the rain falls on us all
Said the good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
Today well ya know it’ll make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
I don’t understand Your ways and oh Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

[Verse 3: Sevin]
So bitter and so broken my soul’s soaking in misery
With no hope for the future though
Cuz I’m so focused on history
Till one day someone cared enough
To share just what You did for me
I can quickly see how differently you act
From the Christians I’m witnessing
You lived this thing called love
While all of us are just so nitpicky
You are righteousness You gave Your life for us… literally
The thought that You’re the one I hated sickens me
It’s a trip to me how quickly we fall into iniquity
Even though I acted wickedly
You still chose to sit with me
I’m the worst one on the court Lord
But yet You still keep picking me
And now it comes so vividly
Clear that every test and every trial
Was predestined and the outcome was Your victory

{Chorus: Sevin]
I said the rain fall yes it does
On the good and the bad oh Lord
Same thing that’ll make us laugh
One day is gonna make us sad
And now I see by your grace
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
Yeah I know I’ll never understand Your ways Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Ohhhh yes